This is fun.
6. Take a voodoo doll out of your pocket. Stick a pin through its heart.
8. Turn up the volume on your iPod and gallop away Gangnam style.
13. Start reciting Mel Gibson’s freedom speech from “Braveheart.”
20. Ask for his address. Send him a postcard that says “I’m not here to decorate your fucking world.”
25. Whisper, “Be careful what you say … to ninjas!” Throw down a smoke bomb. Disappear.
"People say I love you all the time - when they say, ‘take an umbrella, it’s raining,’ or ‘hurry back,’ or even ‘watch out, you’ll break your neck.’ There are hundreds of ways of wording it - you just have to listen for it, my dear."
The Curious Savage (John Patrick)
how do cats even work
- A cat can jump up to five times its own height in a single bound.
- The little tufts of hair in a cat’s ear that help keep out dirt direct sounds into the ear, and insulate the ears are called “ear furnishings.”
- The ability of a cat to find its way home is called “psi-traveling.” Experts think cats either use the angle of the sunlight to find their way or that cats have magnetized cells in their brains that act as compasses.
- One reason that kittens sleep so much is because a growth hormone is released only during sleep.
- A cat has 230 bones in its body. A human has 206. A cat has no collarbone, so it can fit through any opening the size of its head.
- A cat’s nose pad is ridged with a unique pattern, just like the fingerprint of a human.
- If they have ample water, cats can tolerate temperatures up to 133 °F.
- A cat’s heart beats nearly twice as fast as a human heart, at 110 to 140 beats a minute.
- Cats don’t have sweat glands over their bodies like humans do. Instead, they sweat only through their paws.
- The claws on the cat’s back paws aren’t as sharp as the claws on the front paws because the claws in the back don’t retract and, consequently, become worn.
- Cats make about 100 different sounds. Dogs make only about 10.
- Researchers are unsure exactly how a cat purrs. Most veterinarians believe that a cat purrs by vibrating vocal folds deep in the throat. To do this, a muscle in the larynx opens and closes the air passage about 25 times per second.
- A cat almost never meows at another cat, mostly just humans. Cats typically will spit, purr, and hiss at other cats.
- A cat’s back is extremely flexible because it has up to 53 loosely fitting vertebrae. Humans only have 34.
- Some cats have survived falls of over 65 feet (20 meters), due largely to their “righting reflex.” The eyes and balance organs in the inner ear tell it where it is in space so the cat can land on its feet. Even cats without a tail have this ability.
- A cat can travel at a top speed of approximately 31 mph (49 km) over a short distance.
- A cat’s hearing is better than a dog’s. And a cat can hear high-frequency sounds up to two octaves higher than a human.
- A cat’s brain is biologically more similar to a human brain than it is to a dog’s. Both humans and cats have identical regions in their brains that are responsible for emotions.
And that’s how cats work.
Cats are awesome.